The Easter Story - How did Mary feel?

 I am such a fan of holidays.Any excuse for me to bring out a few little decorations or buy some special treats is a total win in my books. Christmas, Halloween, Thanksgiving, birthdays - I go all out, no apologizes, I love it!So obviously I am excited that Easter weekend begins in a few short days. I have my carrot garland hanging from the TV in the play room, plastic eggs all bought to stuff with gold-fish and gummies (Maverick hates chocolate) and a few little gifts for the boys.I am excited, but Easter is an extra special time in our house, we don't only celebrate the Easter Bunny and all the goodies that come with it we celebrate the fact that we believe in a Saviour who died a horrible death on a cross and then rose from the dead three days later, all because He loves us. (I know, I totally just put a damper on the whole Easter bunny and chocolate thing)I know the story, I've heard it so many times and maybe you have to, but every time I read the story something new stands out to me that makes me feel so many different emotions - joy, sorrow, guilt, love. Here's this year's thought;I wonder how Mary felt.I think we are all proud of our children at some point in their lives. I'm proud of Maverick when he says "please" and "thank you", when he brings a smile to other's faces or puts his clothes and toys away without asking but that seems so insignificant against the fact that Jesus died so that we could all be free.Was Mary feeling proud? Did Mary know that Jesus was going to rise again, did she understand the implications of what was happening, was she mad at her son for not "putting up a fight" or was she just so overcome with grief none of this mattered.Did Mary fully understand what was happening?Let's back up to Christmas shall we? An angel appeared to Joseph and “She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, a because he will save his people from their sins.” But did they put two and two together that saving people from their sins meant death on a cross?According to Luke 2:17-18 Mary heard a lot of stuff about her new baby and she would have had to ponder them to see what the implications would be.  Perhaps she knew deep down that it would be a rocky road.Fast forward a few years and she was told by a prophet in Luke 2 that "a sword will pierce your own soul too.”I mean lets just pretend none of that happened and look at that good old mother's intuition - she had to know something was coming right?But was she proud at her son's work and accomplishments. Was she honoured to be his mother? Was she humbled at the fact that her son was the Messiah. Was she angry with the people who wanted to crucify Him. Did she just want to yell and scream and run to her son to protect him?I believe that Jesus is the Messiah but I also believe he was human like you and me. I believe Mary was also a typically mother who probably had to pick up clothes, make Jesus wash His hands before supper, give Him time outs and teach Him to dress himself.So when I think of these questions, I think about myself as a mother, the emotions I would feel and this is my conclusion.If my son was the Messiah and died a horrible death for every one of us so that we could be in relationship and have access to God yet people were still wrapped up in sin and shame and condemnation and not accepting this beautiful and sacrificial gift I would be just down right mad and confused.But how did Mary feel?It is finished.Sin is vanquished.Hell is defeated.Jesus saved us.Love won.I believe after the fact Mary would have embraced this, especially after Jesus appeared to the disciples after His death. But we don't know what happened to her after that, the bible does not let us know how her story played out - which totally sucks.Mary has brought a bit of a new perspective to the Easter story for me. It's so easy to see Mary, Jesus, and all of the people we read about in the bible as not real, or not like us. But Mary reminds me that this Easter story is real.Not only is the story real but the sacrifice is real.The love is real.It's ours for the taking.