Ladies, it's time to fight.
As some of you may know already, last week the world lost a Christian leader, a pastor, a husband and dad to depression and anxiety. I didn’t know him, I read and listened to his work but never understood the struggle he faced every single day.
I didn’t understand until I saw a picture of his wife and children. Then it all began to make sense.
Before I continue, please know this. I don’t pretend to fully understand the affect and effect death by suicide has on loved ones. I am fully aware that mental health knows no race, gender, situation, religion, sexual orientation ect. I am fully aware that I am talking about a very specific group here but by no means want to discount or discredit anyone’s experience.
So with that out of the way here we go.
When I looked at a picture of Jarrid’s wife and two boys I realized very quickly – that could be me. I am a Pastor’s wife too. (Yes, I am an Officer as well but because I am a wife and mother first many times I find myself in that traditional “Pastors wife role – not a bad thing, not great either but we roll with it)
My husband is an Officer in The Salvation Army with many duties that are similar to a Pastor. He leads a congregation and a whole ministry unit with complexities well beyond his expertise. He counsels, meets with, marries, dedicates and buries loved ones, friends and strangers. He deals with push back and criticism. He struggles with his (amazing) sense of humour being confused for immaturity. He desperately wants people to grow so deep with Christ that their lives are dramatically changed but many times see little results. He bleeds for an organization with great potential but sometimes just plain hard to work in. He’s a change agent. He’s an apostle, he’s an evangelist, and would give it all up again to fully follow God because he loves fulfilling his call through Officership. He may be inexperienced but boy is he obedient to God.
Most important he is my husband and he is a dad. He is ours and we love the heck out of him.
I see him wrestle with anxiety, a lot.
I see him know exactly what he needs to do but question it. I see him know exactly what he needs to preach but doubts his words. I see it on his face after a long and hard day of not being able to please everyone (i.e. every day) I see it when he comes to bed and pulls out his iPad because he has got to figure out how to calm his mind so he can sleep. I see it when he complains his chest is heavy. I see it when we talk about the tough stuff. I see it when he feels ignored, worthless and unworthy. I see it when that families loved one is not going to make it. I see it when he wrestles with Biblical truths and false ideology. I see it when he tries to turn off work and turn on dad mode and struggles with that.
I know it’s there. I can tell as soon as I look at him. I know he’s scared but a lot of times I do nothing.
Because mental health is scary. Anxiety and depression are scary. Knowing that this heavy heavy burden that he carries every single day is “part of the job” is scary. Instead of calling the anxiety out or talking to him or hitting the ground with my knees and pleading with God to help I do nothing. I sweep it under the rug.
Because there are moments I care way too much about what the world thinks. It’s wrong and horrible and I am guilty. I am SO guilty.
I know I am not the only pastor’s wife to go through this (and I know this doesn’t just affect pastors) but friends this sucks.
It sucks.
It sucks because this is not even close to what God wants for us. It sucks because it is hard to pastor in a world that stands for everything, that believes everyone’s truth should be blindly accepted, that has attempted to redefine words and worth but desperately needs the know the TRUE Jesus. It sucks because we are at war.
We at war friends.
We are at war for the world, our husbands are on the front lines of this war and we need to be at war for them!
We are at war for our husband’s lives and we need to do something about this!
Mental health is not just something that the medical community needs to figure out or deal with or hire more practitioners because mental health is not just a medical thing. Yes, some people need medication. Yes, some people need counseling (Hi, that’s us!) and there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT but the church needs to step up.
Let me say that again,
The church needs to STEP UP!
Anxiety and depression have become an epidemic across our country. It’s sweeping across claiming people left right and center. It’s claiming our loved ones. It’s claiming our pastors. It’s claiming our husbands. And we are over here fighting about buildings and numbers and personal preferences And procedures and workloads and “what if’s” and basically the most superficial things that have no benefit to the kingdom of God whatsoever.
We need to shake out heads.
Then we need to fight back!
I’m not here to get into the debate of what causes mental health issues, who causes them, why God “allows” it to happen but I am here to say that Satan LOVES what’s happening to our pastors, to our husbands. He loves it because they matter, their work matters, their work changes lives, their lives are built around giving glory to God, bringing the Kingdom of Heaven here on Earth and with one swoop Satan can wipe them out.
No more.
Ladies, we need to be warriors for our husbands. We need to protect them just as much as our mother bear instants make us protect our children. We need to get on our knees, put on our armor and fight for our men. We need to be their spiritual bodyguards, we need to trust our instincts, bring up the hard stuff and help them through it. We need to bring our husbands before the throne of God every single second of every single day and lay them down at the feet of Jesus.
In a world that has completely crushed men, their usefulness, their place, and their words let’s fight back against those lies they are being told.
We are at war, the enemy is after our husbands and we will fight back.
We will fight back!
Ladies, put your armor on because I don’t know about you but Satan will have no more!
If you or someone you know is thinking of suicide please reach out to any of these resources below because your life matters.
Let me say that again – YOUR LIFE MATTERS.
CANADA
USA
Here are a few more resources;
To Write Love on Her Arms – tons of resources for people suffering from mental health issues or families
Anthem of Hope – a Christian organization dedicated to amplifying hope for those suffering
To learn more about Pastor Jarrid Wilson, his family or to donate click here