4 Ways to get through the witching hour
I love being a mom. It's fun, it's rewarding, it's messy, you never know what's going to happen and it just brings me a lot of joy, until about 5 pm...
For some unknown reason between the hours of like 4:30 - 6:30 my sweet little babies turn into full-grown man monsters whose main goal is to seek, kill and destroy. "It's the witching hour," they say "it's completely normal," they tell me but just because something is known and normal does not make it easy
So I went on a mission, a mission to combat the witching hour without locking my kids outside in the backyard to play with the savage city raccoons.
Step one: what exactly is this "witching hour" we all speak of?
Well according to the Breastfeeding center of Pitsburg (and a little extra commentary from yours truly); The witching hour can be described as a fussy period that almost all babies (and children) go through. It tends to happen around the same time every (stinkin') day and most frequently occurs in the late afternoon and evening hours (i.e. right when you are exhausted and need to raise a hallelujah to get through the day). The witching hour often begins between weeks 2 and 3. It will peak around week 6, and then decline around the 3-month mark (or never decline whatsoever). During this time, your baby might be fussier than normal and difficult to soothe (yup). He or she might want to cluster feed or might not want breast at all (or might want to eat every stinkin' thing in the house EXCEPT what you made for supper). Your baby may seem tired but won’t sleep (perfectttttt). Often it seems like baby doesn’t know what he or she wants (check). While this behavior can be challenging to manage, it is important to remember that it is normal (thanks..).
Sounds fun right? Nope, no fun had by anyone. But what I have found in my short time as an adult and parent is that a little routine, some rhythms, and structure can make a really bad situation kind of tolerable. Here are a few tips to tolerate witching hour;
Patience
I know, not the first thing you wanted to see on this list but let's be honest here for a second. Nine times out of ten the reason things escalated with my boys is because I escalated them. I get mad too quick, jump all over them for doing something that I would usually let them do, I yell, I threaten (usually with things that I would never actually do) and I make the situation even worse. Do you know that Bible verse in Ephesians 4 about children obeying their parents? Great verse, sound advice, I applaud Paul (the writer) but do you keep reading after that? It says; Fathers (and mothers), don’t exasperate (frustrated someone intensely) your children by coming down hard on them. Take them by the hand and lead them in the way of the Master (Jesus). Remember that verse next time you wanna lose it (and I will try to remember it too)
Patience, Patience and a little more patience could easily solve all my parenting problems.
Bake Dessert
This one works y'all! Dessert is not a daily or normal occurrence in our home and is usually reserved for special occasions or company but when the witching hour is witching hard a simple activity like baking can be that magic fairy dust you need. Now I know what your saying; "Bhreagh, baking is a big deal and messy and my kids will make the kitchen explode and make so much more work for me." And to that I say; "Yeah, no, I didn't mean real baking! I meant like the chocolate chip Pilsbury cookie pre-made dough that you ripe off and put on a cookie sheet kind of baking". My boys love it, they love to watch them bake in the oven and it distracts them from the crazy. Plus, it's a sweet traditional family moment - some milk and cookies before bed.
Dance Party (or lightsaber fight)
If you know my boys you know they love music (and Star Wars). Maverick has some amazing rhythm on the drums and Asher has the perfect personality for a lead guitarist but nothing gets those hearts pumping and giggles flowing like a good old dance party that INCLUDES mom and dad! I am pretty sure our neighbors think we are crazy but I am also pretty sure they would rather hearing some good tunes instead of screaming - that goes for me too! Make a playlist, blare some music and dance like no one's watching.... until bath time.
Bedtime Routine
I like to look ahead. Practicing living in the moment has always been tough for me because having something to look forward to always makes the days a little easier. Bedtime is something to look forward to (Amen?) Motherhood was not an easy transition for me. It was hard. I had the baby, they handed me the baby, they sent me home with the baby and by day 3 I was crying to my husband wishing we had just got another dog (and our first dog is CRAZY so that says a lot). Thankfully my husband immediately went to the Google (the answer to all problems) and a bedtime routine was created. Hindsight, that bedtime routine didn't always go as planned (and still doesn't) but we have it, it exists to this day and no matter how many people told me I was too rigid and controlling I stuck to that routine. You know why? Because having kids is hard and I needed to have some type of structure to those 24 hour very long days. So, is the bedtime routine good for the kids? Probably. Is the bedtime routine good for the parents? Yup! Get a routine going and those witching hours will start being a little more bearable.
I know they are not magic fixes and maybe your shaking you head like "thanks for nothing" but there is 1 main theme in those 4 little hints that help us, as parents, understand what our kids need - us.
They need you and me. They need us to be patient and kind. They need us to be understanding yet firm. They need us to show them how to be joyful and have fun. They need us to help facilitate peace and gentleness in the home. They need us to show self-control when all we want to do is lose it. Most importantly - they need us to show unconditional love because kids ask for love in the most unloving ways.
Witching hour sucks. A lot of things about parenting sucks. But raising passionate Jesus followers is not suppose to be easy, it's not supposed to come naturally, it's supposed to take work and patience and tons of fruit of the Spirit.
Parenting is doing hard and holy things every single moment of every single day.
So practice some patience, bake some cookies, dance your butts off and celebrate when that bedtime routine starts not because it's finally bedtime but because you did another day of hard and holy things so that your children grow up to do hard and holy things as well.