Raising a Maverick in four easy steps

I was about 20 weeks pregnant when we found out we were having a boy - best case scenario in my mind.I've always dreamed of having kids but I always wanted a little boy first - but then we had to decide on a name.We had some real doozies in mind and since my husband is slightly obsessed with Star Wars most of those doozies included words like Skywalker, Darth and Kylo. Although I would have loved to name my kids after the king of the dark side (eye roll) I guess I just didn't love my husband that much (repeat eye roll).One uneventful day we found our little guys name - Maverick. My hopes and dreams for our son is that he will be strong, independent and original - someone who doesn't just go with the crowd but has the courage to go against.Maverick fit perfectly.So we named our little guy and the big guy upstairs decided that our Maverick was going to be a Maverick.He is fearless, stubborn, strong-willed, smart and can manipulate me to the point the he is sucking back a tube of frosting and I somehow agreed to it.He is a little boy filled with timbits, determination and joy and he is a wild child.Now I know he is a boy. He's two and he thinks farts are funny but I like to think he is also a bit unique, special and headed for a fantastic future. There are days when I am sitting with Maverick surrounded by other kids the same age who are timid, calm, have an appropriate amount of fear and don't see the word "no" as a challenge to prove he can climb up that fire pole at the playground to reach the top and then slide down the slide down and land on his head while laughing hysterically and repeating that whole scenario again while other moms watch in horror.Now don't get me wrong - parenting is hard even with the best, most behaved sit at the table with their hands folded nicely kids (do those even exist?) But in a world where we all try to fit into the same shaped box and want our kids to be instagram perfect all the time - when your kid is a Maverick it's hard not to try to pray that wild spirit out of him.It wasn't until recently I accepted that I need to mould that spirit instead of change it.Here's what I've learned;

Remember someone is always going to comment

Exhibit A; Maverick had a pacifier we lovingly called goose (Get it? Maverick & Goose?) This pacifier saved me from becoming a human pacifier and also saved me from lovingly losing it on my anti sleeper of a child. From the second Maverick was introduced to family and friends I constantly had comments. "He's going to need braces" "That's a germ magnet" "'That's too heavy for him to hold in his mouth" "O, you let him have that?" "He's speech is going to be delayed"  and on and on and on and on and on....Sometimes I ignored them, sometimes I cried, sometimes I wanted to punch people but every single time I wanted to scream He's my son! I don't know about you but I have learned in my 3 short years of parenting that every one is an expert on your child except you (now re read that statement and add a butt load of sarcasm)Pacifiers worked for us and just like I thought (just a few short weeks ago) Maverick decided he was done with goose all by himself. I made the right decision for my child and I always make the right decision for my child because I am his mom. Mommas, it doesn't matter what you do someone will ALWAYS comment. So take a deep breath and relax. Let those comments slide off like water off a ducks back and repeat after me - "I am a great mom."

A good ugly cry can be quite beautiful

Trust me I know. If I had a dollar for every time I told my husband we should have just got another dog instead of a child....Admitting to myself that I don't know what to do with my wild child or admitting to myself that I made the wrong choice or decision and then having a good cry has been some of the most beautiful and freeing moments I've had as a parent. Friends, I don't think I have to tell any of you that being a mom is hard and those little  30 lbs of two-year old can beat me down and make me feel like a failure and then bring me to tears with his sweet little mischievous smile and soft little "I love you". Crying doesn't mean you have failed crying just means you are an imperfect human who needs a moment to release some emotion and reset your mind.Those problems and issues that seem so ugly and overwhelming may just be one good cry away from a solution.

Erase jealousy and embrace gratitude

I mean is there anything worse than comparing ourselves and our children to each other. I'm not sure who suffers more - our mental state or our children. Instead of embracing and encouraging each other along this crazy journey we compare, we watch, we make slide remarks, we talk up our children by embellishing the truth and take instagram worthy pictures that show perfection instead of reality. I for one am very grateful that I don't have to live up to this impossible standard of motherhood set by who knows who but I also know it can be really hard raising a child who doesn't always fit into the normals or the standards of schools and the world - jealousy can easily creep in.Accept your reality, embrace your craziness and be grateful for those crazy mini humans you call yours  - while you are looking at others you are missing moments with your own.

Never forget you were given this child because you can do it

I believe that God creates, knows and loves our children before we even have the privilege of setting our eyes on them. I also like to believe that God knows which kid belongs to which parents. If I believe all of that then I have to believe that God gave me Maverick because He knows I can handle him. Trust me - there's been many a night where I wonder why and stress over how I am going to keep my kid out of the ER (or jail) or how I can make him more "normal" but I realized this truth really quickly - strong-willed children become adults who change the world as long as we can hang on for the ride and resist the temptation to "tame" that spirit out of them.That's what I want for my Maverick. I want him to change the world. I want him to be a strong and kind. I want him to live up to his name. So I can do it because if I couldn't he wouldn't be mine.You can do it too!So here's to all you moms and dads out there raising a Maverick; may your ears be selective in what they hear, may your emotions spill out and make you a better person, may you be ever so grateful for the life you've been given, may you have no broken bones, no calls home from school, adventures upon adventures upon adventures and may you always know you can do it.Don't tame that spirit out of them because you have no idea how your little Maverick will change the world - hang on and enjoy the ride!