Dear Maverick, this matters.

Dear Maverick,

There are a lot of things the world will tell you matters but there are very few things that truly actually matter.

Listen to this. Read this every time you not sure what matters. Read it when you feel mommy and daddy are too busy for you. Read it when you are pulled in so many directions. Read it when you are confused. Read it to your kids someday. But most importantly, know it and live it!

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Tonight, as the first real snowfall of the season was upon us and I walked around our small, beautiful and quiet street and you excitedly pointed out the freshly fallen snow and the Christmas lights I couldn't help but think of all the things I need you to know - especially during Christmas.

God called me to be Officer in the Salvation Army. This means I wear a lot of different hats and have a ton of different roles; visionary, pastor, leader, administrator, dreamer, fundraiser, community ministries organizer, friend, punching bag, kettle coordinator, changer, God follower and usually unpopular. That's the life God called me to, that is the life I chose to follow. I know this is not necessarily the life you chose, and I am sure there will be times that you will completely hate it but please know that there is no title, role, or calling greater than the one you gave me - mommy.

Mommy is my favourite role. Although you are a little crazy there is no greater or more important job in the world. I am so excited that I get to be your mom and that you can contribute to our family team as we serve God together. You have a place here. You belong with us. You are an important member of our team. We are better together.  

But know this.

Because this is a God given calling there will be times when mom and dad are not really liked, sometimes it will be really hard for us to see God's plan through the words and actions of men and women, it gets hard and confusing. But you don't need to worry about that, you never need to worry about that. Your job is to be a kid and we will always take care of you. If there is one thing your mom and dad have learned that is that God will always love us, protects us and help us through those tough times - a lot of times He even uses you to remind us of this amazing adventure He has called us to. Let Him use you to make us better officers but more importantly let Him use you to make us a better mommy and daddy. God created you and knows you deeply. He's got your whole life planned. He's got out whole life planned and all we have to do is be obident to Him. 

Christmas is my favourite time of year - I love the magic it brings. I love Christmas even more since you came around. The pure joy that lights up your face when you see Santa, Christmas lights, play an angel in the Christmas play or hear Jingle Bells come on the radio makes my life so much better.

Christmas is also the busiest time of year because I am a Salvation Army Officer. It gets really busy and we have a lot of money to raise - money that helps us to continue to help people who need a little extra hand, money that keeps our doors open and helps us run so many programs. There is a lot of pressure to meet our goal. Sometimes mommy gets stressed, she gets frustrated, she has to drive from one end of town to another and back again to try and help people and make the campaign run smoothly, sometimes she puts her value in the money she can raise instead of her identity in Christ. Sometimes she makes you come with her to stand on a kettle or to fill in because, well, your my baby and we are a package deal. Know this - that goal I try to meet, that money I try to raise is not even close to how much you are worth to me.

Not. Even. Close.

We help a lot of kids and families during Christmas and this brings mommy a lot of joy. We help other mom's and daddies give their kids a present on Christmas Day. Every time  I hand out a gift or see these families walk through the doors of our church I think of you. I think of how happy I am on Christmas morning when I can make you happy. I hope you can understand that I want other parents to make their kids happy. I want other kids to have that same joy on Christmas, I want other kids to have the same opportunities you will get and ultimately I want other kids to know Jesus like I know you do.  However (and its a big however) no other kids, family of gift will become more important than you, ever.

Finally, it may seem as if mommy and daddy are a little....short with each other during Christmas. Your mom and dad work together everyday. We love it and would have it no other way. But sometimes, especially at Christmas, we get a little stressed and tired and sometimes we take it out on each other or get upset with each other. Know that this is normal, mom's and daddies get upset or disagree with each other,  but no matter what we love each other. We love each other so much that we want each other to be the best person that God made us to be. We love each other so much that we made you. We love each other so much that there is nothing we wouldn't do for each other. We love YOU so much and we will always be a family. Forever. We will work on this one. I promise!

So, my handsome, sweet, adventurous and joyful boy. I love you more than anything. I love you more then my job, my calling, my work, my kettle goal and my Christmas hustle and bustle. I promise to slow down, to prioritize, to remember things that matter, to never put any of this before you and always have fun together. I promise to always teach you about God, about how He sent His son to become human, to be a little boy just like you, so that God could be with us. God is with you. God loves you even more than I do (I'm not sure how that is possible) and God called you to be an Officer's Kid, and to be my son.

I am so humbled that He chose you for me.

I promise to always take time to walk in the dark on a beautiful snowy evening, participate in your joy, sing together and think of nothing else but you.

You're what matters. Nothing else will ever come before you.

I love you,

Mom