Let them be bored.

“But mom, that’s boring!”

I remember the first time I heard my five-year-old say those 4 words and remember my heart sinking just a little. For the first 5 years of Maverick’s little life, he was thrilled about doing anything. This kid could get excited about watching paint dry as long as we made a big deal about it and decided it would be an adventure. But then, all of a sudden, the word bored was introduced into his vocabulary and this momma had to start getting real deep into the trenches of parenting.

I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times. The greatest tragedy of current culture is just how quickly kids are forced or expected to grow up. They know more, they see more, they experience more, they hear more than they ever should at the youngest of ages and all this knowledge is creating anxious and bored littles who are living in an adult world with a need for a constant fix of entertainment.

But are we surprised? As adults, we are numbing our boredom every day with the latest and greatest reality TV program (or trash?) and the mindless scrolling on social media. As adults, we don’t even remember what it is like to be bored so of course we are directly or indirectly raising littles who do not know this feeling either and let me tell you, it’s bad. It’s bad now and it will get really bad as these littles grow into medium-sized and full-grown people.

But what’s the point? You may be asking. Or maybe you are thinking that this is just the world we live in now and we need to prepare our kids for what it will be like. Yup, I thought that for a quick second too but then I realized just how dangerous that thinking can be.

Just think with me for a second, will you? You go to a sibling’s sports event or something else that one of your kids is not actively doing something, they get bored and what do most of us do? We hand them a screen and BAM the boredom is gone. Now I am not here to judge, we do this do and we are still trying to break bad screen habits developed during the pandemic, but stick with me here for a second.

With a screen in their face during that event the kids miss:

• cheering or encouraging said sibling or friend

• making friends

• enjoying nature or the environment they are in

• engaging with grown-ups

• unstructured play

• learning the skill of patience

• spending time with you!

We over structure, overstimulate and over-busy our kids all in the name of learning and experiences and “I just need to get through this grocery shopping” when in reality, all that over structure is creating exactly what we are trying not to create – littles with no imagination, no creativity and no basic life skills. They may sound harsh I know, but it’s the hard truths that create the biggest and most beautiful changes.

Let’s address one quick thing before we look at what we can do to change this. Those of you from previous generations are standing and clapping right now because this is what you all believe and have no idea why “we” do things the way we do (I’m looking at you boomers!) So know this, no matter how much you think parenting is parenting no matter what the generation that is just not the case. We are raising kids in a world and a culture that is completely different than when you raised kids. Heck, we are raising kids in a different world than it was just 1 year ago (Hi, COVID, you suck). Most of us parents today have the best intentions so when you see us struggling or doing something the way you think is just so wrong give us some love and grace, please!

Here’s some things we need to remember:

• Boredom is good. You do not always need to fix your kid's boredom

• Boredom sparks creativity

• Don’t be afraid to be the uncool parent

• Provide child-size explanations and experiences not adult-sized

• If your child’s basic needs are met, letting them have uninterrupted downtime is a beautiful gift

• Make a list of all the things they can do just within the boundaries of their homes that do not involve screens

• Schedule one Saturday a month where you do nothing together as a family

• Bring back the Sunday afternoon drive

Remember your parenting mission – is it to raise little humans who go with the flow and are consumed by this adult world or is it to raise passionate Jesus followers who live in the world but not of the world.

I think one of the best foundations for strong and passionate Jesus followers is to let them be bored kids who were given the gift of white space, adventure and innocence.

Let them be bored friends.